Meet Daughter
A little bit about me – while raising the rest of my family I am also caring for my aging mother. I am blessed to work for myself so if I need to take an entire day with mom I am able to do so, it just means that I stay up later or work longer hours over the next day or 2. Finding a work-life balance has been a challenge at times (ok most of the time) but I have a supportive family and I wouldn’t change the time spent helping Mom.
I have taken care of little things for my parents for over 20 years, helping them move from one local location to another when they decided to downsize, cleaning up little things when they realized they did something they should not have, answering questions, talking to doctors so they could better interrupt what the doctor said and so on.
As needed, our vacations were spent visiting family and at times helping my parents handle those current issues. Ultimately, as time passed we were heading up there monthly to help mom manage whatever she needed.
So How Did Mom Arrive in Virginia?
In 2014, after the unexpected passing of my dad, my mom spent some time mourning and trying to gather her bearings. She had originally planned to just manage as things were, (as that was the plan my parents had in place for themselves), both for her home and health. We made trips up to help, but things started to come tumbling down around her – both figuratively and literally – she realized things were not as manageable on her own.
Our family helped as we could, visiting for long weekends, doing repairs around her house, helping her liquidate some of dad’s items as she was ready to do so. As a frame of reference, we were 8 to 9 hours southeast of her… It’s a good thing I know how to manage time and coordinate well….
My siblings, on occasion would visit or take her here or there but it was becoming clear mom needed more.
Mom socialized with new and longtime friends, managing things the best she could – one day she arrived at the conclusion, with help from friends, Doctors, social workers, and nurses – that she needed to move closer to us. Once the official decision was made, plans were made, an apartment found (her time on one of the the waiting lists arrived as well which was perfect timing) and a move commenced.
A woman who had lived her entire life in the Midwest picked up and moved everything she had left 550 miles and started over at 70. Talk about brave!
Besides Mom
Locally, I have become the resource of who to go to for this or that with the senior population, whether it be the folks that live in the same complex as mom, neighbors, clients at work, even just out in the general public. I don’t know how I earned this ‘go to’ title but I always try to help the best that I can. There is no way I know the specific persons situation but I do offer suggestions should they ask. I have found that many care givers are simply overwhelmed and are not certain where to start, what types of things are available to them and so on.
I also help my husband when he asks for input regarding his own mom. She has been part of my family for over 30 years so it is the least that I can do, always be careful to provide suggestions or support but not to step on feelings or toes along the way.
So as you read this blog realize that not all things are about my specific journey with my mom.